Within recovery culture, there is an interwoven fallacy that claims AA is the only way for people to get sober. While that’s a cultural belief, it doesn’t hold up to even the slightest bit of scrutiny. The truth is, most people
The truth is, people who address their overarching mental health and substance use successfully improve their lives through a variety of unique practices, AA being only one of the many paths to recovery. Still, when people think recovery, they think AA. Obviously, this one-size-fits-all perspective leaves many at a disadvantage. Such was the case for Maya Richard-Craven, a young woman who penned a less-than-positive op-ed on AA that was run by USA Today. In the piece, Maya described what led her to Alcoholics Anonymous and her experiences in the online sober support groups. What she found during her time in the Zoom meetings was a culture that is counter to the stated values of inclusion and universal love of the alcoholic to help them get better.
Its a Shame to be Stuck In the 1930s
It’s important to remember that AA was developed by white Christian males in the 1930s. The early days saw little, if any, diversity among its members. In addressing the role of a wife, the literature states that they exist to keep the kids away from her husband, lest they irritate him and drive him to drink. Yet another blow to equality, the AA big book imposes an overt degree of separation between male and female, referring to women only as “woman folk”. That may seems derogatory, and that’s because it is. Looking back at the foundation from which this organization was created, it’s apparent that AA has had a diversity problem from the get go.
Alcoholism is a universal issue among the entire bouquet of humanity, Christian, Jew, Hindu, black white, whatever, all cultures experience the negative consequences of substance use. Now, while AA claims to welcome all, the reality is starkly different for many people. Such was the case for Maya, who felt unwelcome and even harassed by her peers in AA. So where is there a safe place in recovery for the “other”. What if one isn’t a white, straight, Christian male?
Check out the Perry street meeting in NYC— it’s a legendary room, an AA gathering place of lore and one that does seem to welcome diversity. Of course it’s in NYC, one of the most diverse places on the planet. This doesn’t seem to be the case outside of that bubble.
What are meetings like in Hayes, Kansas? The culture of AA demands from the participant the deification of its founder, Bill Wilson. While the Big Book often calls much of his behavior into question, the constant parroting of “but Bill would have wanted…” by big-book-thumpers is a common theme in AA. Furthermore, the program itself is viewed as sacrosanct, beyond reproach— so much so that the vary suggestion of evolving or reforming AA’s structure to fit modern life is violently batted away as heresy, referring to “Bills desires”. Now, that’s all well and good, but where does that leave the Mayas of the world? Turns out, it seems to leave them isolated and frustrated, two of the most fierce foes in the battle to slay the alcoholic beast.
Why Not Choose Growth?
The pandemic has fanned the flame of alcoholism and has increased the need for diversity more than ever. While the science of mental health moves forward, AA culture limps along, spouting 1930s folklore as means to address virtually anything from alcohol abuse to sex to shopping. If you’re looking for an out-of-touch, narrow-minded path to recovery and something adjacent to happiness, by all means, drop on by your local AA meeting— that is, assuming you’re not “woman folk” or part of another marginalized group of people who still have yet to gain a voice within the community.
In this era of an entire population trying to gain a grip on daily life after the pandemic, we need a higher diversity of options than ever. We need women and people of color in leadership positions. We need respect for the diversity of choice and thought among people who are attempting to improve their health and their lives. After all, SAMHSA, the Grand Poobah of substance use and mental health, says recovery is “a process of change where individuals live self directed lives and improve their health and wellness”. Now I’m not entirely sure where society got it’s wires crossed, but nowhere could I find them defining sobriety as “the process of worshipping of a depression era figure while ostracizing people who think differently from the collective”.
The solution here isn’t a take down of AA— millions of people find comfort with the organization— the solution is to expand the definition of recovery and offer a wider range of professional helping and mutual aid options. The new era of “Cali Sober”— or more recently, “Cali Cali”, the more defined version of the concept— offers choice. Cali clean meetings and entities are more diverse, they have a better respect for the individual. Where inclusivity and respect of choice is lacking in AA, Cali Clean makes it a pillar within its core values.
Mandates to abstinence and AA isn’t care, it’s 1980s anti-gay propaganda. “You will conform to this system” isn’t the proper message the recovery community should be imposing on anyone. These abstinence-only programs operate without compassion, scaring desperate people away from the idea that harm reduction has worth and that improvement matters. How many people like Maya don’t even try to sustain a relationship within the recovery community because they fear the backlash of not fitting into the current paradigm? We don’t know, but there is a way to find out. Let’s have a bigger tent to welcome more people in, even “woman folk”… whatever that is.